Jack the Giant Slayer

Don’t tell my editors. I’ve escaped to watch a movie. I needed a break from the grind and watched Jack the Giant Slayer. Here’s the skinny of what I thought after the experience.

First, I get why this movie bombed. Man, I yawned my way through it. This could also be because I’ve been writing nonstop, so my brain is mush zombies can suck out with a straw. But, I did try to enjoy the plot for what it is, a really big budget film. Another reboot of a fairy tale. And not a very good reboot.

Second, I didn’t connect with the characters much. Ewan McGregor’s talent is wasted in this movie. Here I go again with the ‘if I wrote this movie.’ Humor me by reading on.

If I wrote this movie, Ewan McGregor would be the king and Elmont’s character at the same time. This way, the king becomes kick-ass and at the same time he sees Jack in action which will justify the whole “okay, you can marry the princess, farmer” scenario. Also, why should the princess be a damsel in distress? It would have been cooler if she was the one who put the crown on. Now that would make the movie awesome. The princess actually saves the day? Come on, peeps, they did it in Brave. It’s possible. But, of course, this doesn’t happen because Jack needs to be the hero that saves the day.

See, if you’re gonna do a reboot, why not really play with the story the way they did with Hansel and Gretel as witch hunters. Make Jack the princess, like her name is Jacqueline and she wants to run away from being a princess to experience an adventure. So when she does run, she has to sell her horse (or something) and she gets the magic beans. This is where we can make either Ewan McGregor as the guardian or the guy who plays Jack.

Basically, I can go on and on about how this movie would have been better if they tweaked it more. Really pushed the limits of what the fairy tale could be. Oh, and by the way (just as a complete aside), Jack the Giant Slayer is actually more gruesome than I expected it to be. Not that I'm complaining about gore in a movie, but from the way this thing was shot, the gore didn't seem to fit the style. *shakes head*

I’ll save you some money by not recommending this film for consumption. Seriously, don’t waste nearly two hours of your life. Even if there are some enjoyable aspects to the film, I strongly believe it could have been better. Like the princess being the hero of the day.


  1. So, I was thinking of seeing this movie. Now, I'm not. Thanks for the review. And I totally agree with you on your plot twist, but then I usually do, lol.

    1. Yeah. I was really hoping that the story would be different.


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