As many of you might have heard, I planned on attending RT for the first time in my writing career. When booking for rooms opened, I excitedly reserved mine. Then something happened that caused me to cancel the room. I thought to myself, it’s okay, maybe this isn’t my year to attend. Then, as if the universe was taunting me, I got an email congratulating me. The craft panel I put together got accepted. And this panel is full of kick-ass writers too. I thought to myself, what do I do now?
With a heavy heart, and certainly a confused brain, I asked my Momager and a few other people for advice. The consensus became I should go. So, with renewed vigor, having cancelled my room reservation previously, I searched for a roomie and put myself on the waiting list for a room in case something opened up after registration.
Again I found myself headed for RT.
When early registration opened for panelists to test out the kinks in the system, I quickly pained my fee. I felt one step closer to New Orleans.
This is where things changed.
Sometimes real life isn’t the fairytale we want and hope it to be. Things happen that force you to make a choice. I guess I was due for a kick in the teeth. I must have been getting complacent with my lot in life and the universe decided to have another go at me. To teach me something.
With everything that’s happened in my life so far, I’d like to think I’m starting to get how the universe works. But, then again, the universe might just want me to think that way. Okay, I’m getting away from myself.
So, I made a choice. It wasn’t a difficult one. I let go of going to RT. I let go of moderating the awesome panel I put together. And I cancelled my registration. What did I choose over RT? Time. Precious time with someone I love deeply.
I’d say I made the right choice because there will always be an RT somewhere. But there won’t always be time. Right now my mind is muddled with too many what ifs. And like the writer I am, I had to sit down and put everything into words just to achieve some semblance of calm in the chaos.
You won’t defeat me, universe! I may be down right now, but when I get back up again, you better get ready because I’m coming for you with a machete. (ßMy weapon of choice in the Zompocalypse. Close combat, baby!)
What did cancelling RT teach me?
Well, it’s more like what is it re-teaching me.
That there’s a right time for everything. I may not get what I want right now, not because I don’t deserve it or that I won’t ever get it. It’s because I’m not ready yet. That I need a little more growing to do so when I do get it I will not take it for granted.
I say re-teach because the first time this happened to me was when I parted ways with my agent. When I began my journey as a writer, I had an invisible ladder in my head that I thought I needed to climb to become a published author. Step 1: Write the book. Step 2: Edit the book. Step 3: Query the book. Step 4: Get rejected a bunch of times. Step 5: Edit the book some more. Step 6: Get an agent. Step 7: Edit the book again. Step 7: Get a publisher. Step 8: Happily Ever After.
To many, these steps get them to where they need to be. For me, the universe had other plans. That ladder in my head has changed somewhat. It’s more like the moving stairs of Hogwarts now. I don’t know exactly where it will take me, but I’m a hundred percent sure it’s where I need to be.
So, I consider this a re-teaching of that lesson. This is not my time to attend RT. Again the universe has a different plan for me. But one thing I know for sure: I will be at RT one day.
I guess there’s another lesson to be learned here. When I start to think I’m taking the conventional route, I should stop and reassess because the universe will definitely have a different plan, a quirkier way for me.
Basically: My road may have one destination, but it’s definitely an unconventional route getting there.
I should know by now that I don’t do things the easy way.