I remember the first time I saw white Doc Martens. I grew up wearing the brand to school, but always the black ones. Mary Janes or Boots. Whatever. Just black. I didn't even think they came in other colors. Then I saw white ones and dreamed of owning a pair ever since.
When my brother needed a new pair of boots because his old ones were falling apart, my mother decided on Doc Martens. Since stores are rare here in the Philippines, we waited until our trip to Singapore. That's where I finally fulfilled my dream.
I was so happy that I wore them the next day. That happiness quickly turned to anguish. The leather was so stiff it bruised my feet and slashed the backs of my heels. Docs are famous for their stiff leather softens with time, but pain is still pain. Had I known would I still have bought the pair?
My point is, sometimes dreams that come true can hurt. We may think we want something. When we finally get it things don't turn out the way we expected. I can compare my white Docs experience to my publishing career. Lofty dreams turned out to be more down-to-earth and I'm thankful, but it doesn't mean parts of the journey didn't hurt. Would I have done things differently? Probably not.
With a new pair of Docs you have to wear them constantly--breaking them in little by little--so that they mold to the shape of your feet and the leather grows softer from use. When a dream come true doesn't turn out the way we expect, we have to ride it out until something good comes out of the experience. Just because it hurts today doesn't mean things won't get better tomorrow. Or it may get worse. I don't know.