My check up with my doctor is tomorrow. I had it set up in my head that I would get my x-ray tomorrow before the check up. Unfortunately, since it was a holiday today, my mom wanted to take advantage of the fact that the line to get an x-ray wouldn't be long at the hospital. This did not go well for my nerves.
Anyone who's ever gotten one, x-rays don't hurt. My anxiety didn't come from anticipating pain. It came from the fact that I wasn't ready mentally. I don't like not being ready for something. I refused, but my mom was adamant that we would go today.
So with a prayer in my heart for strength, I went. I was nervous the entire time. Put on a brave face. But I did express my nervousness to the tech that was wheeling me in to get the x-ray. I told him that a lot was riding on the images he was going to take this afternoon.
As I lay on the table, the nurse arranged me in the different poses needed to get the angles my doctor specified. There were a few more than the last time around. I don't know what to make of that. Good, bad? What?
When we were done and the tech handed me the images that I would show my doctor tomorrow, my mom asked him what he thought. His answer was a diplomatic one. He said the doctor would be the one to interpret the results. I liked that.
As I was waiting for my mom to bring the car around, I said another prayer. I didn't look at the images. Not like the last time. I didn't want to know until the doctor tells me tomorrow. Because, again, I am not a doctor. It's not my place to be interpreting something people go to school for years learning.
At least I don't have to wait days before I go see my doctor. Tomorrow I will find out if my fact comes off. I'm staying positive. I'm bringing a pair of rubber shoes that I can slip into. For now, because I don't know if I will get any sleep, I will continue watching the 5th season of RuPaul's Drag Race.